I'm really sorry to hear that your family is giving you such a hard time Karmarsi. As much as we don't like to hear about it, abuse from family members does happen to some unfortunately.
Again, like everyone else, all I can do from here is offer advice that hopefully you feel you can carry out at some point.
Firstly, if your mother is that hateful, you need to relocate. And by that, you should be of the age whereby you do not need her consent. Don't bother asking her coz all she'll do is throw negativities your way. Why tug that baited hook when you know there's nothing but trouble on the other end? If you know this is the case, what's the point in going back to that source when you've already tried and been rejected. At the age you are now, you are able to carry out your own wishes and you don't need anyone's say so. You are your own person. I won't pretend to sugar coat it but moving out with very little in the way of money or savings is hard. That being said, the way your mother acts towards you and the abuse she's been inflicting on you should be more than enough drive to want to be away from it. You don't deserve any of it so why suffer when, believe it or not, you have the power to do something about it. Your mother's nay-says and negative vibes will make you doubt yourself which is only natural if that's the only interaction you've had with people who are supposed to be your first role models in life. The first step is to reject those comments and be able to see yourself in a more positive light. It's not easy but if you can give yourself that self-confidence, no one can stop you.
A friend of mine was in a very similar situation to yours. She was physically and verbally abused from a young age by her family. It was terrible for her that sometimes I would get phonecalls from her at random hours of the morning about how she'd run away and was wandering the streets. I found some of the most bizarre ways to get out to see her and (as much as I hated to say it to her) convinced her to go back home. She was only about 15 then. I wish I could have taken her away from it all but being only a few years older and living with folks myself, there wasn't anything I could do. Eventually, when she turned 18, she left her family and managed to get a flat after a few months living in a hostel. It was tough graft for her but her determination to refuse to be abused for no reason drove her to taking steps to leading her own life. I must admit I haven't heard from her in a while but if there ever was anything wrong I know she'd let me know. Therefore I'm taking it as "no news is good news".
Anecdote aside, the first thing you need to do is get out of there. You'll never shine as a person with such a dark cloud hanging over you. You and your fiancee should plan together, away from your abusive mother. It probably won't happen straight away but it will give you something positive to aim towards. I'm sure the pair of you could do it if you seriously think about what you can do about jobs and where you can go. It is a shred of hope you can look to. Above all, just stop relaying these kind of plans via your mother coz you know exactly what she'll do. Don't play into her game. No one should have to turn their back on their own family but if they have made their decision then it is time for you to make yours. You don't intend to live there for ever so why not make a start on shipping out now? Especially if you have someone faithful to stand by you. I'll bet your fiancee is a true ray of light in your life right about now eh? That's something to start on. A step in the right direction. Someone who can see the good in you. It shows the affection your mother probably never displayed to you.
Take it in small advances. If you really want this to stop, take the actions you know you can manage. Don't discuss them with your mother if you know that she'll just shoot them down everytime. Don't give her the satisfaction. Her grip on you will lessen the more you take steps towards engaging your own future. Maybe then, once you have escaped her abuse, she may then see the error of her ways and finally realise just how bad she had treated you.
I hope that helps. It pains me to hear when someone is being subjected to such cruelty that is not deserved. I can only hope that things work out for you. All the best and good luck Karmarsi!
