Today I’d like to give my two cents about: The Brave Longneck Scheme. We start as two of the main characters are taking a short cut. To where? Gee, I don’t know. The episode never says. Apparently, wherever they were going, it wasn’t even important. As soon as they see Ali, they don’t even care what it was they were about to do since they head over to her herd. Way to make an opening that is pointless. They could have at least said what they did all that walking for.
Two brave adventurers trek through the swamp of doom, narrowly escaping the poisonous snakes. They scale a rocky cliff, nearly loosing their grip many times in the process. A wild boar meets them at the top, stabbing at the boy head on, but the girl quickly scares it away with a lit torch. They come across a smooth field, seemingly out of danger. Suddenly, a dragon attacks them. They run as fast as they can go, but the beast gains on them. Just as the dragon was about grab the travelers, they fall into a mine. Though safe, they sustained a few pulled muscles in the process. They walk deeper into the dark tunnel, and they see light up ahead. Then out of nowhere, bats start swarming around their heads. As the kids flail there arms and shout, the noise causes some of the cave to fall in. They make a run for it, getting outside just in the nick of time. Finally, the boy remember something. “Hey sis, it’s nearly lunch time and mom is making grilled cheese sandwiches. Let’s stop and go home.” “Okay.” The end.
I mean seriously, they build all this hype about going somewhere just to have it completely ignored. Littlefoot was nearly exhausted from climbing that tall cliff. Viewers are surely curious what they were working so hard to get to. But do the writers ever say where they were heading? If you’ve seen the episode, you know the answer. If not, then- NO! They do not! Sure, imaginations are fun to use, but SOME people like to relax and enjoy a fully-explained program without having to fill in blanks from speculation. Don’t be lazy, writers. It’s not that hard to think of a reason to go somewhere. “We’re almost to the berry bushes, Littlefoot.” See? That was all you had to do. Hard? No! Sheesh.
And wasn’t it kind of odd when Littlefoot and Cera wanted to play and Rhett was all like, “Tell them” to Ali? It seemed so rehearsed, like it happens all the time. The longneck herd eventually comes across a small gathering of threehorns. “Wanna play?” one of them asks the longneck kids. “Tell them,” Rhett demands, turning his back. “Uh, how does it go again?” Ali asked, embarrassed. “I am very brave, but I don’t play with kids I don’t know.” “Oh, right, thanks.” Clearing her throat, Ali explains, “Rhett is very, uh…” “Brave! Can’t you ever remember your lines?” “Sorry! Rhett is very brave, but he doesn’t play with kids that are shorter than him.” “No! It’s ëI don’t play with kids I don’t know.’ Know!” I wonder how long it took for that system to get set up. Kids come, Rhett gives the order and turns his back, then Ali explains. I suppose I can visualize that happening.
Wait a minute… Rhett doesn’t play with kids he doesn’t know but plays with Ali. What, did he know her automatically the moment she came into existence? Surely he had to get to know her at some point. Does he like, have some policy about only getting to know one dinosaur a year or something? Or maybe it’s something even weirder. “Come on, Rhett! Can’t you get to know some more friends?” “Sorry, you know my rule. I only get to know kids that are one color in the movies, but are a different color in the episodes. So far, you’re the only one to meet that criteria.” “Aw. Oh well. Maybe the artists will slack off again someday.” Come on writers. If you’re that tired, drink some Monster or Red Bull or something. Just please stop taking your fatigue out on The Land Before Time.
Quick point of interest. Does foot sound anything like neck? Let me answer that. No. Not even one letter is the same. Rhett actually thought Littlefoot’s name was Littleneck? Come on, don’t you writers know how to make a logical lapse of hearing? “I won’t go to my room!” “You won’t go to the moon?” “I can’t drive that far.” “You can’t drive your car?” See? Those phrases can easily be misheard. But mixing up neck and foot? Sure, I suppose that they’re both body parts, but that really has nothing to do with how people hear names. Maybe if Rhett heard Littlefoot’s name a long time ago, recalling it may make his brain link to a word similar, such as another body part, but he heard his name, what, seconds ago? Either he should see his nearest Otolaryngologist, or see whatever deals with loss of short term memory.
Rhett: “I built a mountain of rocks with my tail.” Littlefoot: “You really believe he built a mountain of rocks with his tail?” Rhett: Well, that mountain was mostly built, but I finished the top!” Ali believed him the first time, then when he admitted to lying then said something else, she then went on to believe him again right afterwards. (“See, he finished the top!”) “I think you have this backwards, Ali.” “Huh? What do you mean, Michael?” “Well, I could be wrong, but usually when someone lies, you’re supposed to trust the guy less, not believe him all the more.” “You’re kidding!” “Yeah, that news may come as a shock for you, but I believe it to be true. Anyway, I built a rainbow with my feet.” “Really!?” “Nah, I’m lying.” “Oh.” “By the way, I defeated a Sharptooth using only my eyes.” “Wow!” “Okay, Ali, you’re not listening…”
Illogical words and phrases in songs like “Spike a la mode” have already been addressed on this forum, so I won’t beat a dead horse… Okay, maybe I will. Writers, seriously? Is it that hard to make lyrics that actually fit into the setting? “Don’t wanna eat Spike or a toad, or a meal deep in muck.” “You think that tastes good?” “Yuck!” Okay, okay, so that’s a stupid substitute for the actual lyrics. At least it fits in the Land Before Time universe! And I’m not even a paid professional! Someone’s due for a demotion…
Let’s talk a bit about Littlefoot here. Or Clumsyfoot, he should be called. How many times is he going to trip on something? Creatures with four legs are less likely to fall than two-leggers, yet he falls more than anyone. During the practice session to scare Rhett, he trips on a stone and comes crashing down into everyone. Maybe if this was the first or second time, but he has fallen during Invasion of the Tinysauruses, Escape from the Mysterious Beyond, The Stone of Cold Fire, Journey Through the Mists and those are just the ones I can think of right now; there may be more. I mean, even the Yellow Bellies from movie thirteen didn’t have this much trouble moving around. “Grandpa, grandpa!” “Yes? What is it Littlefoot? Are you alright?” “I fell.” “Oh, is that all? So what else is new?” Seriously, how many times are you writers going to make him fall down? Infamous Doofa herself was more graceful. “Sorry, Littlefoot, but it’s the truth and you know it.” “Yeah, I know. But I’m sure I’ll learn to be more careful in the future.” “Writers made him clumsy AND overly optimistic…” “What?” “Nothing!”
So, the longneck herd is about to drive away Chomper. Littlefoot decides to save him. Couldn’t he have, I don’t know, shouted, “Hey, stop herd! He’s our friend and not mean at all!”? Oh no! That would have been too easy. Adventurous Littlefoot just had to make the scene more interesting by saying nothing while simply sending Petrie to scout out the situation. Let’s just be thankful that it takes all day for giant longnecks to catch a sharptooth smaller than their feet, or Littlefoot’s foolishness would have actually caused a problem. With a herd that incompetent with a mere child, perhaps Rhett saved them from a few sharpteeth attacks after all…
Well, that sums up my points of interest. Sure, I was a bit nit picky, but hey, it was fun so nyeh. I’m The Friendly Sharptooth. I tear apart The Land Before Time so you don’t have to! /Gets out of chair