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 Fanfiction Voting 2011
Mumbling
Posted: Jun 16 2011, 11:53 AM


Apple... Savvy?
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The rules for joining the Fanfiction Awards (You can still submit until JULY 17)

Submissions now closed

If you wish to vote in private, please send me a PM with your votes. Otherwise, please post your votes in this topic.

This is the voting section for the fanfiction awards. All fanfictions that have been submitted by your fellow members for voting are listed here. Please only post on this topic to submit your vote, do not ask questions or have discussions here. For questions, please click the link above and comment on the rules.

You may vote on as many fanfictions as you'd like, but you must have read them first. Please show us in your review that you've truly read the fanfiction.

Please copy the following form to vote:

CODE

[b]Name of fanfiction:[/b] NAME HERE
[b]Rating:[/b] #/10
[b]Review:[/b] REVIEW HERE


The following fanfictions have been submitted for you to vote on:

Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Short summary: Five cold times have passed, and Pterano's exile is up, permitting him to return to the Great Valley. When Petrie goes missing, however, Pterano will have to put himself to the test to save not only his nephew, but to face the past that yawns behind as well.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=9570&st=0
Author(s): Pterano
Comment by author: Thank you to everyone who has read this for your support and asking me to nominate this! I couldn't have done it without my readers!




Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Short summary: A LBT TV series! A single human comes to the world of LBT, A sort of cynical and maniacal Professor! The Gang has new adventures with someone who doesn't like talking about his past. I also focus on other characters a lot, and bring in some old faces!

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9377
Author(s): vonboy




Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Short summary: Times are changing, and Chomper is getting too big to stay in the valley. Littlefoot doesn't want to say goodbye, but what lengths will he go to to stay with his best friend?

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9716
Author(s): vonboy




Name of fanfiction: THE LAND BEFORE TIME: JOURNEY TO A NEW WORLD
Short summary: Two brothers create a time travel device that accidentally brings a certain little longneck into the 21st Century. Now Littlefoot has to find a way back home!

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9452
Author(s): joshua1127, vonboy




Name of fanfiction: The Adventures of Littlefoot and Ali
Short summary: Ali and Ret (from the TV Series) return to The Great Valley after getting separated from their herd. What adventures await them while they wait?

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=1868
Author(s): pokeplayer984




Name of fanfiction: Lost in a Forest
Short summary: Almost five years had passed since Pterano was banished to the Mysterious Beyond. Over those five years, Pterano has met a friend. No, not a mate. But a son figure. But this friend of Pterano's has a relative who wants revenge on Pterano and willing to go to great heights to get it. Will this friend of Pterano's go with his relative's revenge, or will he go with his gut and keep Pterano from harm?

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9454
Author(s): trulyfantasticme




Name of fanfiction: Always the Same Sun
Short summary: Two survivers from Pterano's herd had come to the Great Valley, and searching revenge on Pterano for leading them astray. Will they get they're revenge? Perhaps when they meet a certain flyer who also want revenge as much as they do...

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9660
Author(s): trulyfantasticme




Name of fanfiction: Like a Son to Me
Short summary: It's exactly what happened in Chapter Six, "Recovery Part Two", but longer and more described. Devon's feeling like he's all alone and he needs Pterano to comfort him. It gets very emotional.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9598
Author(s): trulyfantasticme
Comment by author: I recommend reading Lost in a Forest first, but this was a oneshot I did for Father's Day in honor of my dad. He was friggin awesome!




Name of fanfiction: Revenge II
Short summary: A mysterious new enemy arrives at the Great Valley, seeking revenge on Littlefoot and his friends. This dinosaur is connected to Littlefoot in some way, and he will do everything in his power to exact his revenge. With the help of an old friend, Littlefoot must rescue his captive friends from the clutches of this dangerous foe.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=4697
Author(s): LBTFan13
Comment by author: This one took a long time for me, and I am so happy with the end result. I want to thank everybody who stuck with me throughout my two year writing process!




Name of fanfiction: Revenge III
Short summary: The egg eater Ozzie has returned to the Great Valley after being stuck in the Mysterious Beyond for so long. Abandoning his brother, Strut, he unites numerous egg eaters and fast biters to lure Littlefoot out and make him pay for their previous encounter. Now, in order to save his friends, Littlefoot will have to make a risky alliance with Strut, as well as some other unexpected allies.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7587
Author(s): LBTFan13
Comment by author: Again, this has been taking me a while to write. I'm only 7 chapters in, but I'm still brainstorming for ideas on what to do next. As always, I am grateful to those who have stuck with it this far, and I promise you all that I am working as hard as I can to make this the best that I absolutely can.




Name of fanfiction: Battle of the Sacred Essences 2: Corruption's Curse
Short summary: After the events of BOSE, life in the Great Valley returns to normal. Until one day, the once-thought ruined time portal to the human realm is reactivated and Littlefoot is kidnapped by invading humans to the year 327NE but is brought back to the dinosaur world by a terrible accident involving a boy named Kairyn and a mysteriously cloaked man known only as the Black Ghost. Littlefoot, still haunted by the departure of his human friends from his last adventure, finds that the trials and endeavours of his friends were yet not over. There was much more to the legend of the Sacred Essences than he first thought as a dark new threat approaches, but this time, his human friends are no where to be found.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=6991
Author(s): Littlefoot1616
Comment by author: BOSE is up on Fanfiction.net and the latter chapters of BOSE 2 are on the GOF. Links to both stories are available on the BOSE GOF page!




Name of fanfiction: Land Before Time: Far Away Home
Short summary: The Gang goes on their biggest adventure yet, going into and past the mysterious beyond into lands completely unknown. Guided by their new friend Sky the wingtail, Littlefoot, Cera, Ruby, Ducky, Petrie, Spike, and Chomper encounter new friends and get dragged into a web of villiany so grand it shakes the very foundations of the world they know.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...pic=6478&st=360
Author(s): Caustizer
Comment by author: A thousand thanks to all the reviewers that have helped me get as far as I have, and special thanks to Sky for his astounding artwork that made this story's contiuation possible. The story is only a few chapters away from completion, and will be finished by the end of the summer for sure.




Name of fanfiction: Quest for the Energy Stones
Short summary: A Land Before Time/Bionicle crossover. The villages of Mata Nui are brought to the Great Valley by an unknown force. When Makuta follows, it's up to the gang and their new friend Takua to find the Energy Stones to save the valley.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=2826
Author(s): The Chronicler
Comment by author: Okay, so this may have been finished over a year ago, but I'm still interested to see what everyone thinks of this.




Name of fanfiction: Total Drama Valley Season 2
Short summary: In this epic and hilarious sequel to Total Drama Valley, 16 of the past competitors are brought to the altered future to compete in an all-new series of challenges!

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=6064&st=0
Author(s): Brekclub85, The Great Valley Guardian.




Name of fanfiction: What have we done?
Short summary: In this, the first story of my New Generation cycle, Littlefoot and Cera end up falling in love and have to deal with the consequences, including the finding of a long-lost relative.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=1146
Author(s): Stitch




Name of fanfiction: Bambo
Short summary: The birth of a hatchling can be a joyous thing, especially if you and your mate were never expected to be able to have one.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7553
Author(s): Stitch




Name of fanfiction: Terana
Short summary: It's Petrie and Ducky's turn to experience love's joys and hardships, including one that they thought would never happen.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7838
Author(s):Stitch




Name of fanfiction: Legend of a Friendly Sharptooth
Short summary: We've seen what happened in the valley, so now it's time to visit the mysterious beyond with a sharptooth that we've known since the first sequel.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7877
Author(s): Stitch




Name of fanfiction: Total Drama Valley
Short summary: In a crossover between LBT and Total Drama Island, 22 young dinosaurs are brought into a comedic and choatic contest with their eyes all set on the prize: The Stone of Cold Fire!

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=4560&hl=
Author(s): Brekclub85




Name of fanfiction: One Time Thing
Short summary: Thud is injured yet again and goes to Chomper for help.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8980&hl=
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua




Name of fanfiction: Guilty Until Proven Innocent
Short summary: Something temporary turns into a deadly habit for a certain trio of Domeheads. They arrive to the Valley and Chomper is blamed for their crimes. How could he clear his name and expose the true culprits when the grown-ups won't believe him?

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8982&hl=
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua




Name of fanfiction: Self Control
Short summary: Some Egg Stealers lack the namesake of this story's title and just aren't fit to be parents, as Ozzy is about to learn.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8848&hl=
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua




Name of fanfiction: Being the Bigger Sharptooth
Short summary: There's always someone better than you. A new sharptooth attacks and takes Red Claw's territory. His companions killed and himself nearly dead, Thud wants revenge, but first he must recover with a little help from a Great Valley friend.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8983&hl=
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua




Name of fanfiction: Betting Game
Short summary: Set before the TV series. A simple game, hunt, and deadly accident leads to a cross-species alliance between sharpteeth. The start of the Redclaw, Screech, and Thud team.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8981&hl=
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua




Name of fanfiction: The Mystery Of The Blackweeds
Short summary: After a brief expedition into the Mysterious Beyond, Littlefoot and his friends encounter a group of strange dinosaurs, calling themselves the Blackweed Brotherhood. They insist that they are friendly, but can they truly be trusted?

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: URL=http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/index.php?showtopic=9412]http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9412[/URL]
Author(s): Allicloud
Author's comment: Thanks to Vonboy for suggesting nominating, and thanks to any readers who support me.




Name of fanfiction: Far Away Home: Another Day
Short summary: Short Story about Sky and his difficulties with raising his son, dealing with his brother in law, and becoming accepted in a homeland that resents him for past wrongs.

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...9767&st=0&#last
Author(s): Caustizer
Author's comment: Short story made for Sky to get him out of his depression.




Name of fanfiction: Twilight Valley
Short summary: A mysterious sharptooth seeks the mythical Stone of Cold Fire for his own evil desires. When that stone plunges into the Great Valley, he amasses his forces to seize it. Can Littlefoot and his friends stop him from plunging their home into total war?

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...65&st=220&#last
Author(s): Serris
Author's comment: This fan fic is exceptionally violent for a Land Before Time story and is not intended for anyone under the age of thirteen.




Name of fanfiction: The Land Before Time: Sharptooth Valley
Short summary: When Chomper wishes he had more sharpteeth friends, the Stone of Cold Fire grants this, and he soon wakes up in a world where all the herbivores and carnivores have switched places!

Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=4450&hl=
Author(s): Brekclub85
Author's comment: This fan fic is exceptionally violent for a Land Before Time story and is not intended for anyone under the age of thirteen.
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vonboy
Posted: Jun 18 2011, 05:51 AM


The 2014 GoF Meeting didn't end well...
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Group: Member +
Posts: 2,224
Member No.: 727
Joined: 8-March 11



Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 10/10
Review: I really wrestled with whether to give this a 9 or a 10. In the end, I think this story did the best it could have at what it was trying to do, so I gave it a 10! This was a fantastic story about redeeming oneself. This story was done differently than a certain other story about Pterano. While one story tried to make Pterano a BADASS, Pterano (The member dino_tongue.gif) focused a lot more on really humbling Pterano. I loved the angle of a long forgotten person from his past testing him. I kept guessing through the whole story as to who this lost face was, and was ultimately surprised at just WHO it was. Another great thing about this story was it brought in several characters other than Pterano that had done bad things in the past, and redeemed them as well. It was great that he got Chomper in there somehow, when I know he had no intention of that when he first began writing the story. He even got everyone involved with Pterano's part of the story! A great twist to the story was that Pterano didn't REALLY do anything in the end. He had to be saved by other characters. He wasn't the hero, but that was what had to happen. He didn't get a chance to act cocky. He got to realize that he's not really all he's cracked up to be, and he shouldn't be glorifying himself all the time. A kind of ironic thing about this story was the bad guy actually did something good for Pterano through all of this; By helping him to change. This was a story that started out innocent enough, but constantly got darker and darker as time went on. I really liked how he eased us into it, but even then, the climax was REALLY dark, and it blew me away! I'm glad that Pterano ultimately "conquered" his past in a way, and now feels like he'll be able to deal with the horrible things that happened way back when. Overall, a really well woven story. I look forward to what you do next!

To Pokeplayer, I'll read your story and write a review of it at some point in the future. This goes to anybody else that submits their fanfictions. I'll try to read and review everyone's fics...if I have enough time for it!

This post has been edited by vonboy on Jun 18 2011, 06:51 AM
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Pterano
Posted: Jun 18 2011, 10:12 AM


The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
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Joined: 12-May 11



Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Rating: 9/10
Review: This was certainly a darker story, but the author pulls it off very well. He explores a scenario in which Littlefoot is forced to say goodbye to Chomper when the day finally arrives when Chomper must depart the Great Valley. I thought the scenario where Littlefoot makes a last minute decision to join his friend of old was not overdone, nor was it written in such a way as to make it unbelievable. You might question it at first, but you find yourself sucked right in, and looking at Littlefoot's actions as very in line with what he MIGHT in fact do someday, depending on how he spends his days growing up and how close he draws to Chomper. This was a short, intensely dark story that still spoke powerfully to the reader, and did a very good job on demonstrating how one's fraternal love for another can follow one throughout their life. Vonboy pulls off emotions very well in this brief oneshot, and I give it quite high marks for attempting what most readers would initially look at as a pretty unbelievable read. This story could easily fall flat on its face, but vonboy gets the job done, and pulls this one through to a successful 9 out of 10.
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Pterano
Posted: Jun 18 2011, 10:28 AM


The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
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Group: Member +
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Joined: 12-May 11



Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Rating: 8/10
Review: I really wish I could review individual episodes, but I guess that's what the Fanart and Fanfiction section of the forum is for. dino_tongue.gif This is an ongoing script format style story that mimics new seasons of the Land Before Time show, had the show in fact been continued by Universal. While the script style does not strictly follow what a teleplay should look like if one were writing a true script, vonboy has been using this format so long that there wouldn't be much point in changing it now. The first season was a little hit or miss for me, with some episodes lacking clear direction and having some "filler" parts in them, but at the same time, a lot of the stories were good as well, and vonboy has a knack for writing very personal stories that speak to the reader and get them involved as if they were really watching all of this play out. The second season is where he really starts to shine, and aside from one episode that was a bit more bizarre than the rest, I don't think a single one of the them in the second season deserves lower than an 8/10 rating, and I'd even go so far as to give one or two a 10/10. Three in particular that I would give nines or tens to would be the three most recent ones: "The Leafeater and the Little Biter", "That Spark for Adventure", and "Our Very Own Redclaw!". Vonboy REALLY wrote these episodes well, and each have very memorable moments for me. I think my personal favorite was the first of the three that I mentioned, as his style of narration was very well put together, and drew me right in. It spoke to me throughout the whole episode, and reading it was a real pleasure. "That Spark for Adventure" had a few powerful scenes in it as well, such as Chomper's Song of Passing that vonboy wrote in such a clear and imaginative style that left me pausing my reading to simply digest what I'd just read. The storytelling is the strongest feature of this series, and save for a few episodes in the first season that just weren't as strong as I felt they could be, this season gets a solid 8/10 from me.
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trulyfantasticme
Posted: Jun 18 2011, 06:33 PM


Proud Night Fury ^_^
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Group: Member +
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Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 10/10
Review: A TOTALLY AWESOME story about how Pterano redeems himself once more and realizes that he's not the king of the world. dino_laugh.gif But I also like how Pterano and Petrie came together in a stronger bond in the end. I find that very touching and heartwarming.

PS. Is it too late to submit my stories?
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The Friendly Sharptooth
Posted: Jun 18 2011, 11:28 PM


Beware. I eat my friends.
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QUOTE
PS. Is it too late to submit my stories?


According to this thread: http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=9756, you have until July 17th to submit your stories, so no, it's not too late.
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joshua1127
Posted: Jun 19 2011, 12:09 AM


Chomper
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Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Rating: 8/10
Review: I am giving Vonboy's story 8 thumbs up!!! cause it had a human that the dinosaur characters call "The Professor" dino_laugh.gif Wish I knew what his real name is though. but I like it a lot!!
The Professor had a communicator so that he can speak dinosaur and when the communicator broke Littlefoot and the his pals couldn't understand the Professor dino_wow.gif I was shocked when Littlefoot and his pals could not understand human talk. There were some chapters that I liked and some that I didn't. In Parents Know Best there was the part when the professor set off fireworks and caused a forest fire by accident and Littlefoot stood up for him wink.gif which I believe was wise. in The Colors of The Rainbow the two mysterious rainbow faces, which I believe are aliens, came and wondered about The Professor. they saw all of his stuff and believed that he was from another world, which he is. In the Ape man I like the part when the device around the professor's arm got damanged and that Littlefoot and his friends can't understand him at all.

in episode 14 and 15 Pterano returns and the grown ups still don't trust him cause of what happened in the 7th LBT movie. Pterano got misjudged as Rinkus and Sierria returned and treatened the young ones.

The rest of the episodes I like a lot and read but I don't have the thought of giving more details.
I remember one episode had the Yellow Bellies Loofah, Doofah and Foobie dino_laugh.gif unfortunately I've forgotten the title of the episode. but oh well dino_happier.gif

I also helped Vonboy with good LBT names that he want me to give him wink.gif

This post has been edited by joshua1127 on Jun 20 2011, 04:20 PM
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LBTFan13
Posted: Jun 19 2011, 11:55 PM


Grandpa Longneck for President!
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Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 10/10
Review: This fanfic really took me by surprise. There are quite a number of fanfics about Pterano on FF.net, and a lot of them have unique takes on the character itself. This one struck me the most out of all of them. A lot of how I feel about this fanfic has been stated in other reviews, and I agree with them fully. I absolutely love the dark tone throughout the story and just how Pterano really works to make a change in his present life so he can deal with his past and look on ahead to his future. Above that, the story itself is written very well, and the pacing is perfect.
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Mumbling
Posted: Jun 20 2011, 01:53 PM


Apple... Savvy?
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Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Rating: 4/10
Review: A short piece of work. The first part of the story is good. The characters are definitely the way they would be as children dinosaurs and Littlefoot's everlasting love for adventure. I think it's too bad however that you skipped the ESSENTIAL part of the story by saying 'Many years later'. How do the characters change, what have they experienced? The unrealistic continuation of the story in part two is what really set me off. I feel the thing that could have made this dark story a great one is missing. Now it is simply a short, awkward story. Also a personal feeling is that I don't like swearwords in such texts, even though they are blocked out. It's not really appropriate.
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vonboy
Posted: Jun 20 2011, 01:59 PM


The 2014 GoF Meeting didn't end well...
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Name of fanfiction: Lost in a Forest
Rating: 8/10
Review: The writer does a lot of things right in this story, but also a couple of things a little wrong in my eyes. One thing Trulyfantasticme is good at is cliffhangers! Many chapters had these cliffhangers, which ranged from not knowing if a characters was still alive or not, to mysterious voices from characters that weren't revealed till the next chapter. This keeps the reader on the edge of his seat, and it goes along with a Code Monkey's quote I remember. "Always keep em guessin...Always keep em guessin!". This story also has a lot of variety in it. You won't know quite what you'll be getting yourself into when you begin a chapter. Some chapters are very touching, with very good descriptions of what characters are doing to each other, and how they feel. Other chapters, on the other hand, are intense! She writes action in a pretty interesting way I think. It's very over the top, and almost comical in a way. It might be a little hard to believe sometimes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing! The action in this story has a kind of comic book feel to it in my eyes, which is kind of weird for a LBT fanfic, but the writer fits it in well! It's interesting, because you don't EXPECT a writer to write in two different ways like that, and also both ways WELL. About the story itself, it was a great story! I think it's basically about a son who has a father he doesn't want, and someone who always WANTED a son. The Revenge aspect was my favorite part of the story. A few problems with this though is some chapters are very short. That kind of disappointed me in a way. I would rather have less chapters, but longer ones. I remember at one point, she was posting a chapter a day for like a week! Going that fast isn't really a good idea. I think the quality of her writing suffered a little because of that. Also, some people on this board aren't on everyday, and just can't keep up with something like that! I rushed out season 1 of my fic, and...well, you saw how THAT turned out. in-frustrated.gif I think if the writer would just take her time, she could post awesome, well thought-out chapters that are a joy to read! Taking your time on it would also probably help with grammar, which, while not THAT bad, could be better. Overall, while this story has a few aspects I didn't like about it, the good out-ways the bad. This is still a great story to read, and I recommend it for someone looking for emotion AND excitement!
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Pterano
Posted: Jun 20 2011, 03:09 PM


The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
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Name of fanfiction: Revenge II
Rating: 8/10
Review: So my third review is about Revenge II. I really struggled with whether to give it a 9 or an 8, but I'll explain why I chose what I chose in my review. This is a very dark story about a revenge scheme on Littlefoot that is perpetrated by Blacktail, a fastbiter. The author made use of good suspense to keep his reader on edge, and wrote his action scenes fairly well, though sometimes they got a little repetitive with word choices, but I also understand that he wanted to wear the protagonists out, and make it seem as if they were facing hopeless odds. I ran into some issues while reading this story though, such as incorrect punctuation from time to time, and some misspellings or misuses of words. I think having a proofreader go over his work would help him out a lot, and make this story even better in terms of grammar, spelling, and punctuation, but it was by no means horrible, though it could be a little cleaner. Sometimes it is hard to tell who is speaking, as he has a habit of writing the character that is being addressed right after the speaker talks, and this can lead to confusion sometimes, especially when the next paragraph of dialogue has no name after it after the quotation marks end. There are some contradictory bits as well, such as Rooter claiming he didn't know the young threehorn that had died very well, but then saying he spent a long, long time with him. Once again, this is an instance of where a proofreader would really help to catch inconsistencies like that, and help the author to avoid them altogether. I also think the cursing was a bit overused. I don't mind it much, but I'd perfer to see not so much of it in an LBT fic, as too much just seems a bit out of character in my opinion. The pacing seemed a little too fast as well in some scenes, and I felt as if some bits of the story were rushed.

On the positive side, however, the author had EXCELLENT characters, and I gave him very high marks for his villain, Blacktail. He was complex, interesting, and even had me feeling sympathetic for him at certain points. LBTFan13 also left me respecting Blacktail as a villain, and found myself wishing I could know more about him, and I even found myself a tad disappointed at his fate, too, as he was such a great antagonist. The plot twists were very good, and I must say the one at the end where Scarbeak attacks Blacktail was superb, as I did not see it coming, and it was rather a surprising twist to Blacktail's fate, and something I certainly couldn't predict. Where LBTFan13 really shines though, is his ability to create emotions within his reader. I found myself getting teary eyed at more than one scene in this work, and even though it was very dark, there were also scenes that were incredibly sad, or very powerful, and worked to tug at your emotions whenever they cropped up. Any writer who can do that is good in my book, and I think it's one of LBTFan13's best strengths as a writer. He does it well, and he does it with skill.

Whew, so I'm pushing three paragraphs here, so I'd better wrap up this review for now. With interesting characters, an exceptional villain, powerful emotional scenes, and good suspense, I feel that with the help of a proofreader, this story would have definitely been a 9 or even a 10. LBTFan13 tells a good, strong story, and gets a solid 8/10 from me.
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Littlefoot1616
Posted: Jun 20 2011, 05:39 PM


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Name of fanfiction: Land Before Time: Far Away Home
Rating: 8/10
Review: An LBT fanfictional piece that retains the core characteristics of the mainstay characters of the LBT universe whilst not being afraid to explore some deeper concepts such as Littlefoot and co as adults with their offspring (admittingly not a concept I'm overly fond of but still, execution is done well). Narrative is descriptive, flows with great fluency and the perspective of the story is inventive and dynamic switching from a tale the gang are telling their children to the actual running prose of the story being told. With a cast of additional characters (the Wingtails; credit to Sky for their superb design) that are vivid and memorable and possess just as much heart, soul and depth as the LBT characters we know and love. Pacing is a little choppy in places, sometimes slipping into a bit of crawl at times but it does not break the immersion of this tale of acceptance, loyalty and friendship. All this and I haven't even read all of it! Definitely a piece to invest your time in
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Littlefoot1616
Posted: Jun 20 2011, 06:08 PM


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Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Rating: 5/10
Review: An interesting concept for a short story but one that strays a little too far from the established natures of the characters for my personal liking. Story starts out with a good lead into an intriguing idea about the relationship between Chomper and Littlefoot but doesn't seem to develop much more beyond the fact that Chomper is a meat eater and Littlefoot kind of just accepting it without any real clash of judgement. Acknowledging that this is a one-hitter, transition of the story is a bit too slap-dash with a quick flash-forward to how things suddenly are as the norm. A little more of a deeper dive into how this coalition formed could have really brought out a real warped frame of mind and personal struggle of Littlefoot accepting a fact of life he know deep down he cannot change. A little more development of this story and exploration of characters would boost this one-shot into a real emotional drama worthy of a few more star ranks. Points for the idea, just needs a little more on the delivery.
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Pterano
Posted: Jun 20 2011, 09:33 PM


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Name of fanfiction: Lost in a Forest
Rating: 7/10
Review: My fourth review covers trulyfantasticme's Lost in a Forest. This is a rather moving story about Pterano's return to the Great Valley, and his running into new adventures, including stumbling upon Sierra's outcast son, Devon. As with my previous review, I think trulyfanasticme could benefit from having a proofreader, as there are some spelling errors that persist throughout the work, and most of the chapters could do with some punctuation and grammatical cleanup. A few of the chapters seemed rushed, with very fast pacing, and as vonboy said, it's better to post a chapter once you feel you've worked it out well enough and aren't rushing things, and not just post to keep up with a time limit you've set for yourself. Don't post for the sheer sake of posting, but make sure to take your time and plan your chapters out and write them until they work not just for you, but your readers as well, where once again, a proofreader can be useful.

On the positive side, her character Devon was a very strong OC introduction to the LBT universe, and I think he made for an excellent character concept. In fact, I think he may be one of the best OCs I've come across in my reading of LBT fanfics, and she deserves a lot of credit for creating him. A lot of the chapters were very warm, and personal, and I think trulyfanstasticme pulled these chapters off well. Her story was fairly solid, and the character development for both Devon and Pterano was good. Having Devon as the son of Sierra was a good concept on her part, and having him become Pteraon's adopted son was a great contrast in character studies, and a good path to put Devon on, as it really showed his growth throughout her story. She was good at keeping the reader in suspense as well, and had many cliffhangers at the end of her chapters that gave the story a classic serial feel to it.

I thought this was a very good, emotional and moving story of personal growth and love, but there was still some room for improvement as well. I'd say, like vonboy, that the positives outweigh the negatives, and she still has a solid standing with Lost in a Forest. With a stronger hold on the pacing and corrections to misspellings and grammar, this story would have been an 8, 9, or possibly 10 in my book. My rating for Lost in a Forest is 7/10.
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vonboy
Posted: Jun 21 2011, 09:16 AM


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Name of fanfiction: The Adventures of Littlefoot and Ali
Rating: 7/10
Review: So far, I'm really into the story. An interesting love triangle between Littlefoot, Ali, and Rhett. (That's how I spell his name. Deal with it!). Your style of writing is fine with me. I can understand what's going on. Kind of weird how you started out the story VERY dark, and only later revealed the main conflict in a less dark way. You have a big contrast between some chapters. Some are bloody and dark, and some are light-hearted and playful. I like that aspect of it. It keeps the reader guessing as to what the next chapter will be like. I don't like how your handling Rhett in this story though. I don't believe someone like that could make a 360 change like that so fast! I'm not even sure you believe it yourself, as you're still kinda keeping his personality from the TV episode he appeared in. You introduced some minor/one-off characters that don't appear often in other fic'c I've read, which is a nice change. I personally liked the way you handled Rooter. Just introduce him, have him get kids back to valley, mention Littlefoot, and walk into the sunset:b. Now, I didn't like the way you handled Dil sad.gif. One minor thing I found rather interesting is when Chomper sort of... slept-hunted? I don't know if I'd quite call it that, but I really liked that bit! Right now, your at a BIG cliffhanger, and the story could go a variety of ways. I wish I could wait to write a review of a finished fanfic, but it doesn't look like it'll be done by then. I mean, slowly writing this story over about 4 years, and it's STILL not done!? I'd never have patience like that! This might have some flaws, but it's an interesting read, and I hope you finish it someday. Maybe my review of this story in 2025 will be higher :b
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Pterano
Posted: Jun 21 2011, 12:44 PM


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Name of fanfiction: The Adventures of Littlefoot and Ali
Rating: 6/10
Review: My fifth review will be covering Pokeplayer984's story. I can say that there is a lot of room for improvement in the earlier chapters, and Pokeplayer984 doesn't start hitting his stride until around chapter 8 or so. There's a bad habit that I noticed the author tends to get into, though fortunatley, there's an easy fix for it too. I took note that the author will use the same word up to three or more times in the same paragraph, such as "soon", or "sighed", or "shaking", etc. This can harm the pacing of the story, but it's easily fixable with a thesaurus. If you feel you're beginning to get a little repetitious with your words, whip this sucker out and look up alternate words you can use. As one example, he used no word other than "hill" to describe what Rhett and Ali were on in the beginning of the story, but he can try to use "slope" or "bluff" or "eminence" to mix things up and get it so that the reader isn't reading "hill, hill, hill" every so many words.

I felt the pacing was hurt quite a lot in this story by a lack of description. The author tends to simply state what's going on, such as "this occurred. They felt that. That happened. They felt this", etc. The use of similes and metaphors can really spice up the writing, and would go a long well in helping this story's pacing out. Rather than just stating "Littlefoot sighed unhappily", the writer could try "Littlefoot could feel the gut wrenching feeling boiling in his stomach, hotter than any magma pit he'd ever ventured near." Same with Ali and her legs looking like they were at an unnatural angle. It doesn't really paint a clear picture in the reader's head, so the author might try: "her legs twisted and bent like the gnarled roots of a tree, misshapen and contorted as she lay upon the cold stone floor" or something. It feels more like each chapter is a summary of what's going on, rather than an immersive, in depth experience, which is how a story should be, at least in my opinion.

There were also some incorrect placements of words at various spots, though overall, punctuation and grammar isn't too bad, though there were a few run on sentences that could have benefited from the use of commas. Pokeplayer984 does start coming together around chapter 8, however, and writes his emotions a bit more clearly. His descriptions get better, and start speaking to the reader a bit more clearly. The love triangle is tense, and the rising action is good as well, which I think in the end saved the story a bit, and gave the reader something more fresh to go on. This story could do with a lot of clean up, but it's good to see it getting better as it goes as well, and a sign of improvement is always good. This story could easily be an 8 or higher after cleanup and the use of more description, so right now, my rating for this story is 6/10.
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vonboy
Posted: Jun 22 2011, 06:10 PM


The 2014 GoF Meeting didn't end well...
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Name of fanfiction: TOTAL DRAMA VALLEY Season 2
Rating: 8/10
Review: I really like this series so far. I've seen most of the first season of TOTAL DRAMA ACTION!, so I had an idea of what to expect. The two writers do a very good job of keeping in style with the TV series their parodying. It's exciting, and each episode keeps me wanting to read more. The writers weave a complex web of relationships, alliances, back-stabbing, sabotages, cruel sick jokes, and anything else you think might be exciting. LBT and TOTAL DRAMA ACTION is a really strange mix, but it's done well in this case. The personality of all the LBT characters and OC's really come out, which is very important for something like this. There is also a lot of humor in this series, which I like. Not many LBT Fanfic's are funny, but this is by far the funniest one I've ever read! One recurring thing I liked was how it often seems like something horrible is about to happen, such as an execution, but it turns out it's just the host toying with everyone again! One little thing I'll bring up is that none of these "episodes" are actually long enough to be real episodes. I don't know if the writers care about this, but it was something I noticed because It's the same way with my TV series fic. I won't take off any points for that, but I just wanted to bring it to light. One little gripe is with the grammar. There's typo's here and there, and occasionally wrong words are used, making a sentence kind of confusing. It breaks up the action when I have to reread a sentence to understand it. A little more time could be put into proof reading these episodes. Reading season 2 without reading season 1 first wasn't a problem for me, as far as knowing whats going on, or getting lost. It is kind of spoiling some things about the first season for me, but I'll just take it as a teaser :b. I was sad after I read episode 13. I was really getting into it, and was wanting to see the 2nd aftermath. Overall, this is an over the top, hilarious, exciting series that will keep you hooked all the way through! Grammar could be improved, but you'll be too busy laughing to notice much. wink.gif I can't wait for these two writers to finish this season! dino_happier.gif
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vonboy
Posted: Jun 24 2011, 04:12 PM


The 2014 GoF Meeting didn't end well...
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Name of fanfiction: Legend of a Friendly Sharptooth
Rating: 7/10
Review: I actually already read this oneshot on Fanfiction'net a couple months back, while searching through there for any Chomper centered stories. I quite liked this short story, which gave a purpose to Chomper. I loved the rivalry between him and Redclaw, the mysteriousness about him, and how he loved the Great Valley and wanted to keep it safe. The ending really made me tear up I must say, so good job on that! I thought the tale this writer put together was believable, especially how it didn't seem to contradict any cannon to me. It filled in the blanks(And there's a LOT of them) around Chomper living in the Great Valley. I love it when writers do that! Overall, this is an enjoyable story that will make you cry, though I feel I can't give it a perfect score. Can't quite put my finger on it, but something just seems a little lacking.
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vonboy
Posted: Jun 24 2011, 04:28 PM


The 2014 GoF Meeting didn't end well...
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Name of fanfiction:Like a Son to Me
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is basically a chapter of Lost in the Forest. The writer seemed to like this moment in his story so much, that she took it and re-wrote it. This is a very touching snippet of the story that shows Devon's feelings towards both his biological father and his new father. I loved the short glimpses into the poor flyers troubled past. That really made you feel for the character, and made it all the more meaningful when Pterano takes him under his wing as his son. This is a well wrote chapter (I still feel like it's part of Lost in a Forest), and if the writer would take the time to re-write the entire story like he did this one chapter, she could end up with an amazing story that I could rate a 9 or even a 10. That story had everything it needed to be great, but it could have been executed better. Overall, this gives you a glimpse into what Lost in a Forest could have been. On it's own, it's a great short oneshot, and I recommend you read it whether you've read Lost in a Forest or not.

Yea, I edited this, but I haven't changed the score! It was still originally a 9.

This post has been edited by vonboy on Jun 24 2011, 08:26 PM
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WeirdRaptor
Posted: Jun 25 2011, 07:13 PM


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Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 8/10
Review: A nice little tale that fleshes Pterano's character and his relationship with Petrie and the others very well. It had e gripped from start to finish. It also did a really good job with deflating the main character's ego down several notches to acceptable levels, and the process of his redemption was very nicely executed.
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